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Wednesday, May 9th, 2012
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10:03 am - Why I think a birth center birth sounds better and why homebirth is appealing
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When I share my birth story, it will be very positive. But I do have some thoughts about birth and postpartum since when it comes to hospitals. I wish I could give birth in a birth center or at home. I guess I could, but I really prefer the security of the Level 3 nicu and the staff being right there. I also know nothing different.
But, I have a beef with the hospital. So much they do is to control the situation, and that ends up making me feel they want to control me. When I want to do something outside the norm for them, asking feels like I'm asking my parents something they might not approve of, it feels like I'm asking permission. I am 42 years old, since when do I need to ask permission to keep my baby with me? When do I need to ask permission to move about and eat and drink? When do I have to ask permission to have a photo NOT taken? Why would I have to sign paperwork to NOT have a photo taken? When do I have to ask to NOT have goals written on a board in my room, or my pain scale score on the wall for all to see? Why do I have to explain myself all the time? Why do the nurses feel they have to shade the truth or lie...or give me a better reason why? And, why did it seem like the most inconvenient thing when I asked them to give me my medical records?
I am a parent, an adult woman. I was treated as such by the midwife in birth. When I wanted to do things my way postpartum, I was treated like I was weird and causing trouble. I go to a MdDonalds and ask for things to be the way I want them and get a smile and get what I want without me having to explain. Do this in the hospital with MY baby and my body, and I get a cold reply trying to pressure me into what they want me to do. Ugh.
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7:10 am - Want to share the birth story
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But I have no time. I can sit and read facebook...and make a few comments. But, to sit down and write out what happened (though it's a good thing), that is too hard. One day, I'll get it all together...
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| Monday, May 7th, 2012
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11:42 am - I Need to Teach My Kids Not to Share Bad Comments...
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I appreciate that my kids tell me things, but my 9 year old just told me something I really wish she hadn't. When my step mom was here after Asa was born (and I was still in the hospital), she was doing laundry and folding/sorting socks, and such. I have a large box of unsorted socks. I mean it, LARGE. I leave it out of sight in the laundry room. The kids go to the box and get out socks for themselves, when we get clean ones we put them in the box. She said, to my 9 year old, "If Dawn doesn't want to sort these socks, she needs to stop having kids." Excuse me? What? So, I must have my house perfect in order to be able to have kids? And why would you say that to ONE OF MY KIDS (and yes, this is in yelling type for a reason). Ugh. Now I want to be all snooty snotty to my step mom. I love her, but what in the world is she thinking? I never asked her to do laundry. She was just supposed to be here with the kids and then supposed to take the ones who needed rides to dance. She was not supposed to get frustrated because I don't do things the way she thinks I should. Argh.
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| Thursday, April 26th, 2012
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12:16 am - Birth records...
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I requested my chart from the hospital for this birth. I guess I requested more on paper than I thought, I got three of my births in that chart today. I really big ream of paper! I was relieved though it wasn't just one birth, especially since this one I was only in the hospital 2 hours and 20 minutes before the birth!
Odd thing to read through the notes from docs and nurses. Most of them were actually just readings at certain times, but it is interesting to see when things really happened. Time is so out of whack for me when I am in labor, and I realized how quickly some things really happened. It's recorded in the three births that my placenta was out within 5 minutes of the births. Wow, I didn't realize it. Seems like they pushed me a bit to get the placenta out. Also, pushing was often a little bit longer than I thought it actually was. Not by much, but maybe 10 minutes longer.
One thing I did learn, charts can be VERY wrong. With Jillian, I recall she was born and the doctor pulled my placenta out. I also bled enough to scare them a bit. It's not recorded that way, it's written that I had the placenta spontaneously and no mention of too much blood. The next birth, with Reagan, I know she was born "sunny side up" or OP. The chart says she was born OA (or normal way, head facing down). It also says she had no meconium though she did (clear fluid) and that my husband cut the cord. He didn't. It also doesn't mention the tightly wrapped cord around her neck, and claims my perineum was completely intact. I did have a tear. It was likely my midwife mixed up the births she had that day since she came home from a vacation in the wee hours of the morning and then ended up having to catch three babies that day. So odd to read it and see that it's sooooo off. I also have noticed a claim that I had a pap in February of this year, and it had a normal result. Funny, I had NO PAP. I've not had a pap since 2009. I'm likely due for one, so that disturbs me. I will go ahead and ask for one from the midwife at the next appointment, and will let her know my chart is off. Things you don't know until you read it!
Would love to have the older charts and read them, especially Gracia's, since she was born on the bed with no one catching. Would love to see how that one is recorded!
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| Wednesday, April 4th, 2012
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6:19 pm - We have a boy!!!!!!!!!!
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April 1st at 3:21 am our little boy, Asa Samuel was born. He was 7lb 9.9 oz and 18 1/2 inches long. Will surely write much more information than is needed at a later date.
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| Saturday, March 31st, 2012
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2:29 pm - TMI labor post...
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Having all the early symptoms. Lost plug parts...have runny bathroom time...contractions coming all day. Left the house this morning with contractions as low as 6 minutes apart, but more like 10. Went to a grocery store to walk around, and they just went away. Came home and napped for 3 hours, then they came back. Nothing under 18 minutes apart, but have lost more plug and just keep resting/walking/eating/drinking/talking. Some of them have been pure back contractions, those hurt! Most are like very bad cramps near the bladder, they hurt but it's different than the back. I always have to use the bathroom after a contraction, it's like a habit. I drink water and then wait for the next contraction. Every time I try to recline and nap since this morning, I get a contraction within minutes. I'm pretty tired from the lack of sleep last night. I'm going to keep trying.
So, almost 9 1/2 hours until April. Wonder when my midwife is actually available. When she says she's on call on Sunday, I wonder what time that starts? Likely 6 am. That is a LONG time from now.
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12:43 am - Yeah, things are happening
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Not sure if it's tomorrow or within a few days, but I sense change afoot. And besides, we went out for Chinese food tonight. My 4th child came about 7 hours after Chinese food. I have had a few contractions tonight, but having signs of dilation (not going TMI, but you moms know).
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| Thursday, March 29th, 2012
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7:13 am - Hmmm....
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Something may be starting, but I know usually I do this for days or weeks. My hubs took me out for Mexican last night, since when does he know old wives' tales? So, in the middle of the night I had several contractions over several hours. I decided to get up at 5am and give up. I had been watching television off and on since about 3. But, once I started doing laundry, they stopped. Have had two more in the last hour. Not labor yet. Kind of annoying though. I let him go to work without saying anything because I've done this before, and it's been nothing so many times.
At least I am happy that God is in control. I want to get to April, but if it doesn't happen, hey, I'll be holding my baby during the final game of the NCAA basketball tournament, and that will be nice too.
Have help coming to clean today, and someone offered on Sunday if the baby's not here. Hope to make it and get all the extra help. I don't have much of a nesting urge. But today, I will finally wash and sort neutral and girl baby clothes.
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| Wednesday, March 28th, 2012
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9:59 pm - Grandparents out of state for baby's due date...
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So funny that the grandparents will be gone for the baby's due date this weekend. My husband's are visiting his sister 10 hours away, and my parents are going to an anniversary party for my aunt and uncle about 4 hours away. If I go on my due date, they will be out of town. And if we call them after the baby's born, we don't have to worry about them for a day or two. It's actually kind of nice...to me.
My husband's parents haven't been doing anything annoying really, except the eyeroll when we told them we were having another one. My step mom though, she's about to make me batty. I'm at oversensitive right now, and she's been saying things like, "you have to get that house in order before the baby comes" and "when your dad is around there he gets them to clean...you've got to teach the kids to clean." Whatever. It's not like I can unteach every bad habit in the next week. They will just have to learn more this summer. I'm not going to worry about it or stress them out. They have school I'd love to see my parents try to teach school to 4 kids...help one who is in high school (and by help, I mean keep him turning in work and argue with him once or twice a week about it), potty train a two year old who loves to sit on the potty for long periods and not go, keep a toddler and 4 year old busy while the others are doing school, plan meals, make meals, shop for food on the budget we have, take the kids to church activities, make sure we get to church, keep up with laundry and dishes and everyone's chores, take kids to dance three nights a week, clean the dance studio while there, one parent will coach the kids' teams, read to the kids, make sure they are clean and teeth are brushed, keep the lawn mowed, take them to the doctor when sick, one parent must go to the doctor one day every week like I do as a pregnant woman, oh, what else? Anyway, I'd love to see them try this for a while and then tell me how well they keep things clean. Now, my kids always are better for the grandparents for the short time they are around. But, if they actually had to deal with attitude and had to discipline, I bet then they'd understand. It's not like they had 7 kids. It's also not like they had THEM as parents. I'm trying not to be as harsh as my caregivers (not just including my dad and step mom, I lived with many different people growing up). I will say, my step mom was nice to me as a kid...and she would actually have a very hard time dealing with my kids and trying to discipline them. The house would likely be clean and they would eat. But forget all the time they get to go to the movies and do all the things they like to do for themselves. It would be a real shock how much they have to do every day.
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| Friday, March 23rd, 2012
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4:13 pm - Midwife Appointment 38 1/2 weeks
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I had a different midwife today, and she was rather talkative. I thought she'd be fun in labor, she was already joking. We were all wearing KU shirts (oh, and my husband came with me today, a very nice treat to have him there...and we went out for lunch later). My baby had a normal heart beat and appears head down facing my left. I had a blood pressure of 134/78. She didn't recheck it, she said it's a little high but no protein and no swelling, so all's well. I know it would have been lower had she rechecked, they just had me walk and with legs dangling, took it. I weighed exactly the same as last week. I am wearing the same shoes and similar outfit, but still, I could not plan to weigh the same down to the fraction of an ounce. She said I did this two times, then gained two pounds, and now I've done it two times again. Weird. So all is well, no real signs of labor and I still didn't get a dilation check by choice. I did tease her, saying I'd love to leave the hospital after my first round of antibiotics. She laughed. I said, I'd love to leave and go walk in the mall. She gasped, "not with an IV." Ha. I replied, "no, I'd have it taken out and then leave, and come back. I just don't like being there long. I love being the one who comes and has two hours before baby is born." I knew it was a "no way" but had to see what she said. I am sure my midwives have "PITB" on my chart (pain in the bum).
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| Tuesday, March 20th, 2012
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3:34 pm - About 2 weeks to go...give or take...
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Trying to work on my negative attitude. I'm being pretty controlling with the whole birth thing, as usual. It's all the "birth plan" idea out there. I will likely tell the midwife what I want in labor, but obsessing about it now will not do anything. I will probably get one more discussion with her (well, maybe I will...she's at a conference at this appointment this week), and I will make the most of the birth plan discussion. But I want to be more trusting of her and hope we can come to a friendly agreement to go with the flow and listen to one another. I do plan to ask for no ve's, no breaking the water, and to have that baby on me right away if possible. I do also plan not to be blamed when things go differently than I planned. It's not because I have desires for birth, it's because events occur that we don't expect and cannot control. I want to control what I can reasonably control...want to have freedom, and want to let my midwife do her job. If baby has issues and I need an intervention, then I need the intervention. No one's fault, it's just birth as birth is. So...this is what it's like to be me at 2 weeks before the due date.
Not been having labor signs. I have had a few braxton hicks contractions here and there. It doesn't feel like labor at all. I need the full time to prepare my home, so I hope I have it. But if I don't, oh well.
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| Monday, March 19th, 2012
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8:22 am - Humbling hoarding and helpful people
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I was telling a woman at my church how horrible my laundry room is. It is called "Mount Laundry" for a reason. I have enough laundry to fill at least 10 large trash bags. I'm talking the big black thick kind (maybe more, I'm afraid to count). The room is also really messy...we've had mice in this winter. Kids drag weird things down there and leave them there. The lady said, "can I help you." Usually, I say no. I mean, it's MY mess. I relented, and she got a friend to come with her. We spent the last two weeks doing laundry and bagging the rest. Too many clothes! People give to us and we do get rid of a bag once in a while, but this is ridiculous! So, these two women cleaned up the dirt on the floor under the laundry (it was all gone out of sight to them). The laundry room was such a catch all, they went through it and organized. They put my husband's tools in little bins, boxes of books came upstairs to put in cabinets. They cleared cabinets, the table for folding, and more. They found 3 containers of bleach in there. I knew I had one, but they found two others that are full (unless they brought them with them???). They put all my supplies on one shelf for laundry, gave me four containers for sorting, and put hangers on a rack for hanging clothes. They did some loads we had in baskets to do, and put a shelf on one side for me to put clothes for the kids to find and put away daily. They wouldn't let me work in there. It was gross, there was so much filth under the clothes! When done, they prayed with me, gave me suggestions, and left happy. My kids are using the sorting system (very easy system). We've decided to do at least three loads a day, but I'm going to try to do more to empty the bags. They did take some give away bags we'd already washed and donated them. We have to donate many, many more. I now plan to have the kids pick out a certain number of outfits, the rest will go. I've wanted to do this for years but never have. I'm so thankful for the help.
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| Friday, March 16th, 2012
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1:00 pm - Midwife appointment 37 1/2 weeks.
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I had my appointment today. I didn't mention the issues I've pressed about with breaking the water and no vaginal exams to her. I did say something to the nurse who assured me my midwife would likely agree with me not to do them. Ha! I think people assume she's low intervention so she also would agree to no VE's and such, but she must not consider those to be "interventions." It was a pleasant visit. I did walk in with a higher bp (144/78) but not scary. I always do this now that the office is attached to the hospital and I have to go through a big construction site on the way there. But, the midwife took it before I left and it was 122/68. I lost about 2 pounds, but then again, I'm wearing shorts and flip flops instead of long sleeves/jeans/socks/tennis shoes. So, I'm not sure if I just remained the same or what. This week, the midwife thinks the baby is chunky. Baby is facing up (or is OP) with the body on my right side and legs out to the left...so I guess it's kind of a facing the front with a slight angle to the left thing. Heartbeat was in the 150's to 160's. Last week, baby was "not too big, at least less than 9 lbs" by her palpating my abdomen. So, I'm not sure why we're suddenly big again? I cannot believe we are less than 3 weeks from the due date. I've been working on "mount laundry." It's an impossible task. Some women from church offered to help me this weekend. We'll see if I can clean enough to allow them to come into my home!
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| Thursday, March 15th, 2012
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6:00 pm - I'm 41 and I don't take it from medical people ANY MORE
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I took 5 kids to the dentist. Embarrassed to say I've never taken the kids. We have budget issues and haven't always had good insurance for dental. Even when we did, I didn't know. I knew that my kids never complain of their teeth hurting, so I assumed we were okay. Well, of the 5, only one had a single cavity. It's a baby tooth, and we are getting it filled. Also, my 6 year old has loose teeth and the Dr. wants to pull them. I hope they come out before the follow up. I just might postpone it just to give her teeth more time. It seems ridiculous for a dentist to be paid hundreds of dollars to do what time usually takes care of in my household. Over $500 for 4 teeth to be pulled. He wants to give her laughing gas for this, and that adds to the price. I am thinking she better start wiggling them. Of course, we're only being charged part of that $500, but still.
I found it amusing that the kids could watch a movie in the lobby on one of four large flat screened televisions. They then could watch on two in the chairs while they were being treated. I think then there were 6 flat screens in this office. They also had some games and xbox things in a waiting room for x-rays. After they received their treatments and were checked, they were given ice cream, a balloon, tokens for toys in a gumball type machine, and toothbrush/floss/toothpaste. Wow.
When we went out to schedule follow up, I wanted to request a certain dentist. When I called, they just assigned me one. I was told, "no, you cannot switch dentists, it's better for record keeping." I asked, "you mean, like, forever?" The receptionist said, "yes." I then repeated, "you mean, we cannot ever switch dentists?" She said, "you are right, we like to keep you with the one you started with." I then quickly said, "oh, then I guess we won't reschedule." Then, a skinny, hyper looking person popped around the corner. She let the other receptionist know that I could switch. The receptionist then stated I'd have to start all over again. I said, "I'll let the ones get treated for the follow up, but want to switch at the 6 month check up." My husband had a name he had heard a few times, and I wanted to honor him. I didn't know WHY he wanted who he wanted, but I just knew he gave me a clear name. If he makes an effort to research, I'm with him. He gives me the same courtesy when it comes to doctors and especially with birth. I found out later he knows a family who has had extensive treatments on one daughter. She was basically born with rotting teeth under the gums because her mother's blood is O and hers is AB. She had surgery and every tooth has had work. They recommended one particular dentist in this office. Then, he found someone at work that said, "do not go to Dr. L." Okay, that means we had the one not recommended and changing was likely a good idea.
I really don't have time to worry what they think anymore. If I say I want to go to a particular dentist, I get what I want or my money and insurance pay walks. I have 7 born kids and one on the way. I think you want my money.
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| Tuesday, March 13th, 2012
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1:37 pm - I told my midwife about the waterproofing
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I let my midwife know I got her a waterbirth gown and rain poncho. She was less than thrilled, and then said again that "we'll see" about the water being broken by her (AROM). I told her I don't want it broken, and she said she wouldn't do it until I push. Now I have to go with the "keep my legs closed" method to assure she won't break it. Of course, nothing can stop her in the last moments as I cannot control myself then. So, she'll likely break it just before the head is born. Makes me mad she cannot honor this request. I will not allow vaginal exams unless there is a real concern due to big decel or something to avoid a c-section if I'm close. I guess I'm going to try to stay out of the bed as much as possible, and just keep myself away from her hands. Sad I have to feel this way. Not wanting to switch at this late date...
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| Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
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4:25 pm - Yes, I am obnoxious to my midwife...
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I just bought a real live rain poncho with my midwife's favorite college team on it. Also purchased an official medical gown for a midwife attending a water birth. Now, I'm not having a water birth unless I don't get out of the tub in the hospital because it's not technically allowed (though I am just the rebel to do it). My midwife said, when I asked her not to break my water during labor, that she doesn't like to be splashed, so she will wait until the "head is right there." I don't like that, so I'm providing protection for her. I think it's funny, my husband is not so sure. Well, I have to do something. Saying I outright refuse might actually be easier if I just have some kind of prop to give her and make a joke out of it. No vaginal exams, no breaking the water. It will break on it's own. God just might provide the joke and have my water break before I arrive though...that would be funny.
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| Thursday, March 1st, 2012
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11:08 am - Woah, only 43 and on a walk.
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8:44 am - Oh the sea of vomit!
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A few days ago, my toddler was throwing up. She got sick about 3 times in the day, and finally settled in the night. I was worried as it was the day before her birthday. She did get better, and by night, could eat cake. I was hoping she was the only one. Well, last night I had them go down one by one. Four who had been healthy and who ate big meals all day, suddenly had stomach pain. All four threw up, and kept doing so all through the night. I would nod off to sleep sitting on the edge of the couch, and another would start. I'd hold hair, rub a back, give them a kleenex, and take the bowl to be cleaned out. I'd sit down, fall asleep, and then another one would start up again. One did get sick in her bed, and I washed the walls, cleaned off the library book (which I will return and tell them it was abused by a stomach flu bug), and peeled the sheets off the bed. I still need to rinse all that out to wash. Long night. And I'm staying on liquids and soft stuff today just in case. I cannot imagine getting away with not being sick. I even took a tylenol last night in case to keep fever away. Some of mine were so hot, and I didn't want to risk making the baby hot.
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| Saturday, February 25th, 2012
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12:44 am - Posted this on a blog in response to a question about advice you'd give women before labor...
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Remember too, the wedding is only one day. The marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. Same with birth. That is a big day in our memory. A day our baby won't recall at all. We do what we do to protect and birth our baby with hopes for health and a wonderful life. I personally am trying to understand WHY I am so worried about every detail. I want to "go with the flow" but at the same time, fear loss of control. What I try to control is the people involved and what they can and cannot do to me. What I truly cannot control is birth itself. But, I can control some things. I can work into understanding the process and prepare for events that might happen. I can also work to be content with what happens. Birth is not an event only, it's a part of a family's life. I am not more or less a woman because I do not control all of what is the birth of my child. I am wholly mother, and the child is wholly our child (my husband's and mine). We will deal with whatever comes for better or for worse. Parenting is such a risky business, and it begins at conception...
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| Friday, February 24th, 2012
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4:03 pm - staying off of facebook...and baby update
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I am staying away from facebook at least during weekdays. I just was on there too much and not doing everything I need to do. Baby is due April 1st, and I am trying to be off for that. I now need to cut out other computer time during the hours of 9-4 I think. That way, I can just get the bulk of the day things done. I tend to visit sight after sight in search of a "fix" from facebook hiatus.
Well, I finally asked the midwife if she's going on a vacation in March with her kids for spring break. She stated that, NO she was not. She even said her husband gets to go but she doesn't. See what worry gets you? Nothing. My husband showed up for the appointment, and I didn't know he would be there. It was nice. I think it makes things better when he is there, it keeps me calmer and I feel even medical people are better to me with him there. She did tell him I need to be in the hospital when I believe I am in labor because of the Group B strep positive. I am NOT going too early though. I labor now over 12 hours really, if not more with the prodromal stuff. In fact, I was having labor all day Saturday last time and didn't have Reagan until Sunday morning at 9am. I am NOT going in until I feel I have about 5 hours left. I know you cannot "know" but I do have this way about me. With each birth I like to be there around 2 hours. When I was laboring with Jillian, Joe forced me to go in and I argued with him. I wanted to walk around a few hours more. I was there 7 hours plus, and I hated it. The nurse drove me nuts (won't go back over that again). But with #2, #4, #5, and #7, I managed to time it so I was not there too long or too little. All over 2 hours with #7 being 3 1/2. So, I know I need to be there early enough to get the antibiotics in once with about 4 hours...if I can get a 2nd dose, even better. That's about 4 1/2 hours. I wish I could go to the office and get the first dose and then walk outside the hospital in the mall or something. I know that won't fly. But I am not planning to be there for ever...period. T
I had my bp taken and made the nurse allow me to sit on the chair and put my feet on the floor. Last time it was 136/85ish. This was not okay with me, but I swear it was the hyper nurse who was in a hurry and sat me right down to do it. This time it was 130/80. But she had my midwife take it later, and it was 116/68. More like it. I know it's my nerves. I think I'll probably do better next time.
The midwife did tell us the baby is head down, heartrate normal, and all is well. She had me guess the weight and I said, "don't know, but want the baby to be under 8 if possible at the end." She smiled and said, "It feels like this baby is already 6 lbs." That's at 34 weeks 5 days. Ugh. At about the average of 1/2 a pound a week, if I go up to 40 weeks, that's 2 1/2 more pounds, or somewhere in the mid to high 8's. She repeated, stop the carbs. I have gained about 17 lbs this time, hoped to gain less than 15. Oh well. Still under the recommended 25 lbs or less for my size. Despite my carb habit, I don't think I'm doing that bad. And, for being "so big" I am not really that uncomfortable. I've had some pregnancies with much discomfort, so really, I think we're fine. I bet baby won't be over 8 lbs...or just barely 8. But I have been wrong before. Head down though people, head down. That's good...it's been that way for two visits...that is very good.
So, overall, good news. Midwife in town, bp normal after I got over the white coat thing, and baby head down. Now for me to prepare at home. What a mess my house is!
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